Frustration with my Work

**This post contains affiliate links and I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links. I keep pondering and pondering and pondering about why I’m not getting any sales. Part of me really just wants to give up. I was so close today but then I sat there and stared at my website in disgust. The thing that disgusted me the most was that I was advertising some clothing that I wouldn’t be able to fit. That was a “you dumb***” moment for me.

I am a BBW. I have curves and according to my significant other, alot of them. So I know I am still new to this whole “advertising products” thing. I looked at this swimsuit collection I had on my website and couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t fit into that!

I have to be all about me. Who am I? Who are my friends? What is my culture? Even though I can answer all of those things with one word, I don’t think before today I fully understood what being myself meant. Im advertising the exact opposite of who I am. I was so caught up in ” I know this is going to get me sales I just have to give the people what they want.”

I carried that with me up until now, knowing that I am not a people pleaser and I refuse to persuade an audience that I  can not relate to.  Subconsciously this was something I was doing. I feel ashamed, embarrassed, and ignorant not even thinking twice about what I was doing. I need to stick to what I know and what I thought I knew wasn’t getting me anywhere.

I am proud of myself because this is growth for me and what I stand for. I’m on a mission and in a chapter where I define who I am and when I finally get that definition certified through my soul, I’ll have the greatest powerful moment and my world will light up with strength and dignity.

Premenstrual Rant


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I am really going through it. I’m really struggling its that time of the month. I really want some ice cream, Baskin Robbins rainbow sherbet sound so good right now. Maybe a snickers chocolate bar, or snickers ice cream bar. Also maybe even some Reese’s pieces so great right about now. Pamprin would help to right now because I feel so bloated. It really helps with the water retention, makes me feel so much better and it also helps with the cramps. The pads I use are always. I like to cuddle with a nice throw blanket. Fuzzy socks  I still have from Christmas. I also would like a teddy bear. I also like to watch a favorite comedy show or maybe even a dram. Caress Foam Shower gel is my fave or maybe even dial moisturizing shower wash and stress ball helps and I really want to cry so I make sure I have some soft tissues like Kleenex tissue box. All of these things I purchased from Walmart. Maybe I need to make a store run.

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