Intimate Fanatic III

The sun felt so warm on my skin, I felt so beautiful with the way Juene smiled holding my hand. It felt so

amazing as we walked together in the sand against the shore. Looking out at the water, and the sunset

all I wanted to do was drown in his love, in our love. The way he smiled melted my heart and set my soul

on fire. I could feel my ashes emersing in the ocean. I became one with the sea. That’s how he made me

feel. I was able to breathe underwater and embrace my fear of the deep undiscovered territories of the

sea. My ashes, undetectable by the marine life. My spirit drifting so peacefully throughout the water. I

didn’t need to know how to swim in order for my spirit to flow the way it did.

When he kissed me, my body went numb. The look in my eye spoke to the passion I felt when he

touched me. I couldn’t breath but because we were together he was all the oxygen I needed. I felt

immersed in his presence as if my soul was doing all the work for me, we intertwined together. His hand

in mine. he traced his fingers down the middle of my hand, down the inside of my arm above my breast,

up my neck, to my lips, and somehow I kissed his finger. He made love to me with every inch of him. Just

with his touch, the way he looked at me, the way his lips caressed my skin. No time existed and nothing

else. it was just me him and our bodies emerging within one another. Hearing his voice was power to my

body with everything he told me to do.

He spoke with his lips against my skin, every demand ending with an electrifying kiss

“tell me you need me”

” I need you”

“tell me you love me”

I love you

Tell me you want me

I want you

Only me

Yes.

His kiss felt so powerful I didn’t even realize how much I released during that moment.

He traced his hand, slid it down my leg teased his hand in the direction of my thigh, went in between my

thigh up to feel how wet I was. I heard him moaning when he went deeper. I opened my eyes and

looked at him. He smiled, and I couldn’t help but to kiss him. I pulled him closer and his fingers went

deeper inside of me. He felt my breath and my heart pulsating the deeper he went. He held the back of

my neck so I wouldn’t stop kissing him while he took control of everything I felt. I couldn’t help but to let

out a long moan as I felt myself getting closer to him. I couldn’t hold it in any longer I opened my eyes

seeing him stare back at me to signal him not to stop, he knew in my eyes what was happening. He

knew how hard he wanted me to cum so I layed my head back and let him take control of me as he

kissed my neck. He wanted to feel every part of me when he satisfied me. He gripped my thigh harder as

he felt me tighten up on him. he told me to cum for him and he knew I was there.

UUUUuUUHaaahhh…… I moaned as he felt me coming down. He watched me come to.

“you are so beautiful” as I opened my eyes he watched me relaxing.

I grabbed him and held him until the sun finally set with us.

What I want to do plus more. LoL

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     I was asked What do I want for myself. I want to be able to lead, I want to live comfortably for me and my son. I want stability. I want friends and support. I dont mind the ups and downs, those keep me working harder to cintinue to be the be.

A couple times I just wanted to spend some quality time with my significant other along with his kids and my son. There were a couple of times in the past when we did have this quality time. I didn’t appreciate it as much as I want to now. I was to scared back then and I read other’s stories and as I am reading I’m like how can you be scared? I know why.

I actually am thinking about him right now. I know I am supposed to be talking about what I want and he is definitely a big part of it. I didnt appreciate him in the past. He has been so good to me and I pushed him away so much, even though I was madly falling for him. I didnt want to get distracted, I didnt want to give more attention to a man than I did my son. I wanted my son, the only male in my life that held me together to be put first before anything and everything.

I am actualy glad I had this experience and that I had this strong mindset because it made me realize that I had the power to stand up for whatever I believed in. A couple years ago I would have not been in the state of mind I am in right now. Thankfully, my bestfriend can attest to that. I didnt care about women, men, other people.

I couldn’t stand people because I dealt with them everyday at my job.  The way they talked to me, the negativity, the comments, the sneaky racist remarks. The way men made me feel so disgusted about how the stared me down while I was trying to work.  Some women. and there were older women, just looked at me in disgust because I was young and I was a threat. I just dont’t understand why it had to be that way.

I was discussing things with these people that , hell I dont know if it made a difference or not, but I would speak my mind and forget all about my job, I hated my job. It felt like nothing I did there mattered because certain pople started to take that for granted. No recognition, always the problems that were recognized.

The only revognition I got was just a dollar raise every year and that wasnt enough to keep me there, in fact when it came down to it, that was the only thing keeping me there. I was making $14 and hour. My raise to $15 an hour was threatened, especially with the amount of times I was late. So many times at that place I knew it was done.

Part of the reason