Friday frights

I have a lot of thoughts in my head I have a lot of thoughts I can’t get out there’s so many things I wanna do there’s so many things that I can’t do there’s so many people that I want to tell you how I feel but I’m just afraid of exposure I don’t want anyone else to know how I am so rather just disappear and a burden anyone with how I feel what are the things I deal with on a daily basis because I don’t want to interfere with anyone’s happiness because eventually that all may be impacting him in a negative way I do my schoolwork

I feel like I’m stuck in the way but at the same time I am still going at a decent pace I’m still a mother and as much as I would like to sometimes her and away from that I’ll stick it out because I mean there’s no such thing as running away when it comes to being a mother and you’re so trying to commit suicide is not possible you can’t do that I do look at my phone every night and just I just feel bad that even though maybe he wasn’t being well behaved like I want him to be I’m just glad I was able to give him a place to stay so they need to make him happy because hI feel like I’m stuck in the way but at the same time I am still going at a decent pace I’m still a mother and as much as I would like to sometimes run away from there I’ll stick it out because I mean there’s no such thing as running away when I comes to being a mother and your side trying to commit suicide is not possible you can’t do that I do look at my son every night inches I just so glad that even though maybe he wasn’t well behaved like I want him to be I’m just glad I was able to give him a place to stay and eat and make him happy because she is it e is a happy kid

I’m struggling with school school is probably maybe another kid if you ask me it’s unpredictable it’s overwhelming it’s demanding it’s needing in if I don’t attend to it in stride down and I’m just left with the burden of emotionally feel like I failed or just wasting time in is that’s not OK but the school is just what I want in certain people were there was a person who just made me feel like crap for doing the best I can in those type of people I just need to realize that I don’t need to talk to them I don’t need them in my life they aren’t doing me any good andthai’m struggling with school school is probably maybe another kid if you ask me it’s unpredictable it’s overwhelming it’s demanding it’s needing in if I don’t attend to it in stride down and I’m just left with the burden of emotionally feel like I failed or just wasting time in is this not OK but the school is just what I want in certain people or there was a person who just made me feel like crap for doing the best I can in those type of people I just need to realize that I don’t need to talk to them I don’t need them in my life they aren’t doing me any good s kind of had Me and a frustrating situation mentally any motional he and I just kind a let that person bring me down and I everything I believe in just went out the window I’ll because of that one person say but that person is it me the person doesn’t know when I’m going through in one thing I will not tolerate is someone who just does not understand what I’m dealing with and they think it’s just King hallway just with a blink of an eye because he can’t like I can’t have someone in my life who doesn’t understand who isn’t willing to understand that’s the problem I have with you he does not understand the problem my head with Jason he doesn’t understand per my hair with With Chris he doesn’t understand they just have this you’re supposed to be like this boom you only have this amount of time to do it get it done or else in this like why are you not understanding anything it doesn’t make any sense and I swear I have a problem when it comes to dating because it’s like OK if I have someone who just doesn’t understand who isn’t willing to understand and she’s looking at me like I do you’re supposed to have your shit together I can’t be with you and that’s why I last year I was just like I’m gonna be with nobody the one getting me through what I’m going through and I rather go through it alone and have someone telling me oh you’re supposed to have it this Way by now like I can’t live up toAnybody’s expectations but my own in my I can’t even live up to my own expectations so when it comes to me trying to be the best I can for other people and no one that I struggle being the best I can for myself it’s just like well I’m sorry but bye go away I don’t I don’t wanna deal with you and I want to talk to you and he’s just not good for me just a waste of a night and that’s kind of how I feel right now I feel like I should just go away state of myself and trying to do this stuff because it’s only him to come out alive instead of having people involved in trying to involve people and this is not Necessar anybody’s expectations put my own in my I can’t even live up to my own expectations so when it comes to me trying to be the best I can for other people in knowing that I struggle being the best I can for myself is just like well I’m sorry but by go away I don’t I don’t wanna deal with you and I wanna talk to you and he’s just not good for me just a waste of a night and that’s kind of how I feel right now I feel like I should just go away state of myself and trying to do this stuff because it’s only him to come out alive instead of having people involved and trying to involve people and this is not necessary.

I had a dream about a snake last night and I was at someone else I was at someone else’s house sneaking hurt me which is just later than like I just got out of its cage and it was it it didn’t hurt nobody and hurt me to see how you doing so course I looked it up on the Internet and said oh either you’re healing somewhere or do you have someone toxic in your life in you have too many people close to me.

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