Past present and future it all surround me.
I hate that I had to do that in order to feel better about him doing whatever he was doing. i should have been writing my paper or reading. That feeling of revenge only felt good while I was doing it. Afterwards it was like a bad fight. smh. I should of stayed here and finished trying to read but the consistent stab of jealously was too distracting and this is why I resulted to being upstairs because I wont win neither will he if I just tell him to stop texting in front of me because it wont make him put up with me anymore than he already wasnt and it damn sure wont him happy because he is going to get what he wants one way or another. This is exactly why I resulted to staying upstairs because when I am down here I only stir up trouble for myself and its sad but no one wants to do what the other wants them to do because “we arent in a relationship. I may have missed him and suffered upstairs but I rather that than this dead feeling that got me no where. sigh. this is better that before but its not any easier. 😔😔😔😔 We always know how this ends up but smh. I cant deal with it anymore. I think im gonna just fully move upstairs and leave him alone for a while. This isnt working for me. Im so sad